We had to go to the mall to pick up my aunt's gift yesterday.
I knew before we went it was a horrible idea, and I was planning on leaving Ryan in the car with Tom. Ryan had to use the bathroom though, and if he was going inside, I might as well buy the one thing and get out.
I was anticipating the worst.
I got the best imaginable.
He made it to the bathroom and back to me at the doors okay (with his Daddy, of course), but it was so crowded it took entirely too long to get back together. Adara was antsy so we were riding up and down the escalators to keep her busy. Tom didn't see us and kept walking around and around.
Finally, we got back together and headed for the store to buy the gift.
I was really worried.
Ryan started getting his twitches and whimpering and I knew we had to get out of there fast. To my aunt, if you're reading this - your gift was selected with care, I hope you enjoy it...but please note that I probably would have gotten you more except that Ryan could no longer handle being there.
I paid and left as fast as possible. He was hugging himself, rocking on his feet, lightly bumping his head into the counter, and whimpering continuously while I was paying...if someone had even lightly bumped him it would have been all over, but miracle of miracles in a PACKED store without room to move - nobody bumped into him.
We got out I moved him over toward the bell players (they were a floor below us) into an open quiet (relatively) space, and gave him squishy hugs, did push 5s, etc. things to calm him down so that we could make the walk back to the car. It took a while, but he managed to calm down. I asked him if he wanted to listen to the bells and he looked up towards me...I made him try to use his words, and it was so hard for him, he stuttered (whole word stuttering is what he does) so horribly, but he asked to go home.
I let him carry the bag with the gift too, it was heavy enough to act like heavy work.
I managed NOT to cry when we got to the car, but just barely. I was/am so very proud of him for holding it together. We did it. We REALLY did it. We made it through a fast trip to a packed mall in the month of December.
That has never happened before and, frankly, I wouldn't try it again, but for this one little trip I am extremely thankful and proud of my son.
Adara didn't have any trouble, but I could tell she had shut down her hearing. She wasn't responding to speech at all. Normally when she starts to get uncomfortable she will look at you and say "too much, too much!" but this time it was immediately overwhelming and she just shut it down. The sound canceling headphones we just got helped a good bit because once we left she was able to start hearing us again :-D That's something she hasn't been able to manage before either! Once she shuts down, she's done until the next day usually!
All in all, a very good day. It filled me with hope.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Reminders of Why
Friday was a day filled with reminders of why we are on this journey.
Ryan was having a particularly rough day. His morning was fine, we got his schoolwork done with little problem at all! He had OT that afternoon (same as every Friday) and even there he had trouble. We go grocery shopping after OT, and normally this works out fairly well. Friday that was NOT the case.
Ryan began showing signs of emotional and sensory "bumpiness" before we started, and signs of anxiety before we were ready to check out. He and his sister were sitting next to each other in the special kid cart. Plenty of room for two kids...but every time Adara so much as brushed against Ryan's arm he would scream and try to hit her. Eventually I let Adara out of the cart to help push it. She's only 2, but she's emotionally older than Ryan and therefore better about staying close to me - meaning she runs away because she thinks it's funny, and I knew in Ryan's current emotional state that he would bolt and hide.
I should have stopped shopping when I realized Ryan was "losing it." I should have just told the manager where my cart was, apologized and left the store. I didn't. That was a mistake, I know that now, but not nearly as big a mistake as the other one.
Finally, I was done with the list and we could leave. Check out was rough. There was almost a meltdown over an item Ryan didn't get to put on the checkout conveyor, thankfully I had two of them - disaster averted! Ready to get out of there with Adara overdue for a nap and Ryan done for the day, I accepted help taking my cart out to the car.
It sounds so innocent when I say it that way, but that was my biggest mistake. Ryan had trouble staying with me to even get out of the store. I tried holding him, but he nearly collapsed. So I let him hold my shirt and I kept my hand holding the back of his coat. He kept yanking and dodging and trying to get away.
Little did I realize that Ryan had slipped into full on anxiety mode - EVERYTHING was dangerous. This man pushing the cart out of the store that Ryan's seen three or four times before was suddenly a stranger, a word Ryan doesn't normally apply to anyone (this has caused MANY issues before) because EVERYONE is his "best friend."
We finally got to the car, and I asked Ryan to get into the car and sit down. Unfortunately, his seat is in the back and open to the back of the minivan where the man was loading the groceries for me. Ryan screamed and bolted hard. I had let him go because he was getting into the car and he got away from me and out of the door. He dodged toward the front of the car first, but I was there and tried to grab him. He hit and scratched my arms, my long sleeves saved my arms, and he dodged to the back of the van, but the man was there and had stepped around to see what was going on. Ryan saw him and ran into him kicking and headbutting - the man stepped back. We were parked next to the end of the row, so there were bushes right next to us, Ryan began running through them and he sort of stumbled. That gave me time to catch Ryan on the other side of the bushes because it takes him time to get his feet sorted out when he stands up after a fall.
I'm lucky I caught Ryan because just then a car drove past going WAY too fast. If I hadn't caught Ryan, he'd have run right in front of that car. It never would have occurred to him to stop, and there was no WAY that driver could have stopped. They were going way to fast to begin with and Ryan would have just suddenly appeared right in front of the car from the bushes.
I picked Ryan up and carried him around the car to put him in. He was slamming his head into me, but it was into my shoulder so I was okay. I didn't try to buckle him, but I did close and lock the doors. Eventually he was able to buckle himself and we could leave. Thankfully he was too far gone to remember to unlock the doors. Also my car has a great feature that won't allow you to unlock and open the doors when the car is in gear. So I've found the car can be quite a safe way of containing Ryan when he's lost inside himself.
It's days like this that remind me why we are on this journey to get a service dog. The dog would have been tethered to Ryan and Ryan wouldn't have been able to get away. Ryan would have had a friend to help him calm down and feel safe.
This type of incident doesn't have to keep happening! We can stop these! Together we can raise the money needed to train a service dog for Ryan and our family, and I'll be able to go to the grocery store and do things regular people do - like get help out to my car with a load of groceries!
Ryan was having a particularly rough day. His morning was fine, we got his schoolwork done with little problem at all! He had OT that afternoon (same as every Friday) and even there he had trouble. We go grocery shopping after OT, and normally this works out fairly well. Friday that was NOT the case.
Ryan began showing signs of emotional and sensory "bumpiness" before we started, and signs of anxiety before we were ready to check out. He and his sister were sitting next to each other in the special kid cart. Plenty of room for two kids...but every time Adara so much as brushed against Ryan's arm he would scream and try to hit her. Eventually I let Adara out of the cart to help push it. She's only 2, but she's emotionally older than Ryan and therefore better about staying close to me - meaning she runs away because she thinks it's funny, and I knew in Ryan's current emotional state that he would bolt and hide.
I should have stopped shopping when I realized Ryan was "losing it." I should have just told the manager where my cart was, apologized and left the store. I didn't. That was a mistake, I know that now, but not nearly as big a mistake as the other one.
Finally, I was done with the list and we could leave. Check out was rough. There was almost a meltdown over an item Ryan didn't get to put on the checkout conveyor, thankfully I had two of them - disaster averted! Ready to get out of there with Adara overdue for a nap and Ryan done for the day, I accepted help taking my cart out to the car.
It sounds so innocent when I say it that way, but that was my biggest mistake. Ryan had trouble staying with me to even get out of the store. I tried holding him, but he nearly collapsed. So I let him hold my shirt and I kept my hand holding the back of his coat. He kept yanking and dodging and trying to get away.
Little did I realize that Ryan had slipped into full on anxiety mode - EVERYTHING was dangerous. This man pushing the cart out of the store that Ryan's seen three or four times before was suddenly a stranger, a word Ryan doesn't normally apply to anyone (this has caused MANY issues before) because EVERYONE is his "best friend."
We finally got to the car, and I asked Ryan to get into the car and sit down. Unfortunately, his seat is in the back and open to the back of the minivan where the man was loading the groceries for me. Ryan screamed and bolted hard. I had let him go because he was getting into the car and he got away from me and out of the door. He dodged toward the front of the car first, but I was there and tried to grab him. He hit and scratched my arms, my long sleeves saved my arms, and he dodged to the back of the van, but the man was there and had stepped around to see what was going on. Ryan saw him and ran into him kicking and headbutting - the man stepped back. We were parked next to the end of the row, so there were bushes right next to us, Ryan began running through them and he sort of stumbled. That gave me time to catch Ryan on the other side of the bushes because it takes him time to get his feet sorted out when he stands up after a fall.
I'm lucky I caught Ryan because just then a car drove past going WAY too fast. If I hadn't caught Ryan, he'd have run right in front of that car. It never would have occurred to him to stop, and there was no WAY that driver could have stopped. They were going way to fast to begin with and Ryan would have just suddenly appeared right in front of the car from the bushes.
I picked Ryan up and carried him around the car to put him in. He was slamming his head into me, but it was into my shoulder so I was okay. I didn't try to buckle him, but I did close and lock the doors. Eventually he was able to buckle himself and we could leave. Thankfully he was too far gone to remember to unlock the doors. Also my car has a great feature that won't allow you to unlock and open the doors when the car is in gear. So I've found the car can be quite a safe way of containing Ryan when he's lost inside himself.
It's days like this that remind me why we are on this journey to get a service dog. The dog would have been tethered to Ryan and Ryan wouldn't have been able to get away. Ryan would have had a friend to help him calm down and feel safe.
This type of incident doesn't have to keep happening! We can stop these! Together we can raise the money needed to train a service dog for Ryan and our family, and I'll be able to go to the grocery store and do things regular people do - like get help out to my car with a load of groceries!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A "Dog Friend" for Ryan
PRESS RELEASE
No offense to all the cats out there (we love you!), but this family has a need only a furry canine can fulfill, and they need your help. Tom and Angela of Delaware, Ohio are raising funds on behalf of 4 Paws For Ability, a non-profit organization specializing in training and placement of service dogs for disabled children.
Five-year-old Ryan Bowser has Autism. Ryan is a wonderful little boy who loves everything. He believes strongly in recycling and reusing everything possible, and yet he struggles to make sense of the world around him. Children with Autism tend to wander away and are unaware of many common dangers such as traffic or the ill intentions of a stranger. Ryan needs a special companion at his side trained to provide the assistance he needs. In addition to providing constant companionship and unwavering friendship, these four-pawed wonders are also specially trained in search and rescue skills. Nothing could bring more ease to Ryan’s parents than knowing that the next time he slips away they would have someone to find him.
4 Paws For Ability, based in Xenia, Ohio, strives to provide service dogs to families and children that struggle with life’s daily challenges and who are often turned away by many other agencies. 4 Paws trains a variety of assistance dogs, including but not limited to seizure assistance, mobility assistance, hearing ear dogs and autism assistance dogs. A portion of the dogs trained for service are rescued from shelters. Some of the dogs even serve time in the Rover Prison Rehab Program as a stepping stone to becoming certified service dogs.
There has always been a magic about dogs and children, but for children with Autism the magic of a dog can be life-saving.
You can help bring that magic into Ryan’s life by making a tax deductible donation to 4 Paws For Ability in Ryan Bowser’s name. http://www.4pawsforability.org/donation.html and be sure to include "In honor of Ryan Bowser" in the special instructions or memo portion of a check for any donations to be attributed to him.
For additional information contact the family at 4paws4Ryan@gmail.com. To contact 4 Paws directly call (937) 374-0385 or check out their website at http://www.4pawsforability.org/.
No offense to all the cats out there (we love you!), but this family has a need only a furry canine can fulfill, and they need your help. Tom and Angela of Delaware, Ohio are raising funds on behalf of 4 Paws For Ability, a non-profit organization specializing in training and placement of service dogs for disabled children.
Five-year-old Ryan Bowser has Autism. Ryan is a wonderful little boy who loves everything. He believes strongly in recycling and reusing everything possible, and yet he struggles to make sense of the world around him. Children with Autism tend to wander away and are unaware of many common dangers such as traffic or the ill intentions of a stranger. Ryan needs a special companion at his side trained to provide the assistance he needs. In addition to providing constant companionship and unwavering friendship, these four-pawed wonders are also specially trained in search and rescue skills. Nothing could bring more ease to Ryan’s parents than knowing that the next time he slips away they would have someone to find him.
4 Paws For Ability, based in Xenia, Ohio, strives to provide service dogs to families and children that struggle with life’s daily challenges and who are often turned away by many other agencies. 4 Paws trains a variety of assistance dogs, including but not limited to seizure assistance, mobility assistance, hearing ear dogs and autism assistance dogs. A portion of the dogs trained for service are rescued from shelters. Some of the dogs even serve time in the Rover Prison Rehab Program as a stepping stone to becoming certified service dogs.
There has always been a magic about dogs and children, but for children with Autism the magic of a dog can be life-saving.
You can help bring that magic into Ryan’s life by making a tax deductible donation to 4 Paws For Ability in Ryan Bowser’s name. http://www.4pawsforability.org/donation.html and be sure to include "In honor of Ryan Bowser" in the special instructions or memo portion of a check for any donations to be attributed to him.
For additional information contact the family at 4paws4Ryan@gmail.com. To contact 4 Paws directly call (937) 374-0385 or check out their website at http://www.4pawsforability.org/.
In Hopes of a Dog Friend of Ryan's Very Own
4 PAWS FOR RYAN
Ryan is one of thousands of children you can help with a life-changing, even possibly life-saving, opportunity.
About Ryan
Five-year-old Ryan Bowser of Delaware, Ohio, likes many of the same things as other children his age. He loves playing with Lego’s and trucks, playing video games, reading, stomping in the pool in the summer, and snuggling with Mommy or Daddy under a blanket in the winter. He is also very proactive about recycling and reusing. However, unlike most five-year-olds, Ryan struggles greatly in understanding simple personal interactions and most safety concerns.
Ryan has a variety of issues including Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, minor oral motor planning issues, and some physical issues. One of his legs is longer than the other and the orthopedic specialist says that this causes him to have “functional” scoliosis. He often complains of leg and back pain. Ryan is also extremely flexible, but lacks the muscle strength to hold his joints in a “normal” alignment, so he walks oddly and he is quite clumsy.
There is no way to know what caused his condition or to predict his outcome. Although he is five years old, in terms of social and emotional development he is a child of less than two years. It’s like having two toddlers, one is a fairly typical two year old, and the other is as tall and strong as a 5-year-old, can unlock and open doors, and gets past every safety measure we have put in place.
Most confusing for his parents, Ryan has no fear in situations he should, and is almost overwhelmed by fear of things he shouldn’t be afraid of, like sounds and touch. He has no concept of the dangers of traffic or the ill intentions of a stranger.
A Solution for Ryan
4 Paws for Ability, a nonprofit organization located in Xenia, Ohio, has the answer. They have agreed to train a service dog, known as an Autism Assistance Dog, specifically for Ryan. Besides being a loving and loyal companion for him, training will include:
Behavior Disruption
When Ryan engages in repetitive behaviors, such as banging his head into people, the dog will be trained to interrupt this by laying its nose or foot on him and gently nudging him to stop the repetitive behavior. For the dog, it becomes a game, and it is possible that Ryan may decide petting, cuddling, or playing with the dog is more appealing than some of his repetitive behaviors.
Tether
While in public places, Ryan’s mother and father must hold his hand tightly, or be hyper-vigilant about Ryan keeping his hand on the shopping cart, a shirt sleeve, or a purse strap; otherwise Ryan would wander off or even run if startled. With a service dog, Ryan will wear a special harness that is attached to the dog and the dog will be controlled by Mom or Dad holding its leash. In this way, much of the anxiety and stress of going to public places is removed, and Ryan is given freedom of move¬ment and feelings of independence.
Tracking
There is a constant worry that Ryan will be able to escape. The dog will be able to track Ryan and quickly lead his parents to him.
Many other children have been and, like Ryan, can be helped by service dogs trained and placed by 4 Paws for Ability.
About 4 Paws for Ability
Mission & Goals. The stated mission of 4 Paws is to enrich the lives of people with disabilities by the training and placement of service dogs to provide individuals with companionship and promote independent living, regardless of age and severity of disability. In doing so, they also reduce the number of unwanted animals who would otherwise be destroyed by obtaining the majority of their animals from shelters and rescue groups.
The Placement Process. Most service dog placement organizations have a waiting list of at least 2 to 5 years. These service dogs, with their specialized training, are costly to train, some costing up to $26,000, and most organizations rely on a single person, or small group of people, doing the fundraising. Because the amount of funds they are able to raise is limited, they can only offer a certain number of dogs each year. At 4 Paws, the money doesn’t come out of the recipient’s pocket either. What they have done is to create a fundraising requirement. They form a working relationship with recipients and their families to have them raise money for 4 Paws, so the waiting list is only as long as it takes the person to complete their fundraising requirement.
Assistance Dogs. 4 Paws was the first agency to begin placing skilled autism service dogs and continues to be the largest organization in the United States placing autism assistance dogs with tracking. This continues to be the most often placed type of service dog, with well over 100 placed thus far. 4 Paws trains several other types of service dogs, as well, including hearing service dogs, mobility assistance dogs, seizure service dogs, in home companion dogs, and, for children with needs in more than one category, multipurpose dogs.
Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to support 4 Paws for Ability and help Ryan’s family meet their fundraising requirement!
Please make checks payable to 4 Paws for Ability.
253 Dayton Ave.
Xenia, Ohio 45385
Phone: (937) 374-0385
On the Web: www.4pawsforability.org
Ryan is one of thousands of children you can help with a life-changing, even possibly life-saving, opportunity.
About Ryan
Five-year-old Ryan Bowser of Delaware, Ohio, likes many of the same things as other children his age. He loves playing with Lego’s and trucks, playing video games, reading, stomping in the pool in the summer, and snuggling with Mommy or Daddy under a blanket in the winter. He is also very proactive about recycling and reusing. However, unlike most five-year-olds, Ryan struggles greatly in understanding simple personal interactions and most safety concerns.
Ryan has a variety of issues including Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, minor oral motor planning issues, and some physical issues. One of his legs is longer than the other and the orthopedic specialist says that this causes him to have “functional” scoliosis. He often complains of leg and back pain. Ryan is also extremely flexible, but lacks the muscle strength to hold his joints in a “normal” alignment, so he walks oddly and he is quite clumsy.
There is no way to know what caused his condition or to predict his outcome. Although he is five years old, in terms of social and emotional development he is a child of less than two years. It’s like having two toddlers, one is a fairly typical two year old, and the other is as tall and strong as a 5-year-old, can unlock and open doors, and gets past every safety measure we have put in place.
Most confusing for his parents, Ryan has no fear in situations he should, and is almost overwhelmed by fear of things he shouldn’t be afraid of, like sounds and touch. He has no concept of the dangers of traffic or the ill intentions of a stranger.
A Solution for Ryan
4 Paws for Ability, a nonprofit organization located in Xenia, Ohio, has the answer. They have agreed to train a service dog, known as an Autism Assistance Dog, specifically for Ryan. Besides being a loving and loyal companion for him, training will include:
Behavior Disruption
When Ryan engages in repetitive behaviors, such as banging his head into people, the dog will be trained to interrupt this by laying its nose or foot on him and gently nudging him to stop the repetitive behavior. For the dog, it becomes a game, and it is possible that Ryan may decide petting, cuddling, or playing with the dog is more appealing than some of his repetitive behaviors.
Tether
While in public places, Ryan’s mother and father must hold his hand tightly, or be hyper-vigilant about Ryan keeping his hand on the shopping cart, a shirt sleeve, or a purse strap; otherwise Ryan would wander off or even run if startled. With a service dog, Ryan will wear a special harness that is attached to the dog and the dog will be controlled by Mom or Dad holding its leash. In this way, much of the anxiety and stress of going to public places is removed, and Ryan is given freedom of move¬ment and feelings of independence.
Tracking
There is a constant worry that Ryan will be able to escape. The dog will be able to track Ryan and quickly lead his parents to him.
Many other children have been and, like Ryan, can be helped by service dogs trained and placed by 4 Paws for Ability.
About 4 Paws for Ability
Mission & Goals. The stated mission of 4 Paws is to enrich the lives of people with disabilities by the training and placement of service dogs to provide individuals with companionship and promote independent living, regardless of age and severity of disability. In doing so, they also reduce the number of unwanted animals who would otherwise be destroyed by obtaining the majority of their animals from shelters and rescue groups.
The Placement Process. Most service dog placement organizations have a waiting list of at least 2 to 5 years. These service dogs, with their specialized training, are costly to train, some costing up to $26,000, and most organizations rely on a single person, or small group of people, doing the fundraising. Because the amount of funds they are able to raise is limited, they can only offer a certain number of dogs each year. At 4 Paws, the money doesn’t come out of the recipient’s pocket either. What they have done is to create a fundraising requirement. They form a working relationship with recipients and their families to have them raise money for 4 Paws, so the waiting list is only as long as it takes the person to complete their fundraising requirement.
Assistance Dogs. 4 Paws was the first agency to begin placing skilled autism service dogs and continues to be the largest organization in the United States placing autism assistance dogs with tracking. This continues to be the most often placed type of service dog, with well over 100 placed thus far. 4 Paws trains several other types of service dogs, as well, including hearing service dogs, mobility assistance dogs, seizure service dogs, in home companion dogs, and, for children with needs in more than one category, multipurpose dogs.
Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to support 4 Paws for Ability and help Ryan’s family meet their fundraising requirement!
Please make checks payable to 4 Paws for Ability.
253 Dayton Ave.
Xenia, Ohio 45385
Phone: (937) 374-0385
On the Web: www.4pawsforability.org
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